sweep me off my feet

Dear Soulmate,

You never know when love will find you, so it doesn’t hurt to be on your toes. But then again, they say it creeps up when you least expect it. This is perhaps where the whole “sweep you off your feet” idea came into being.

As I walked the sun-drenched streets of Boston yesterday, basking in what felt like a clear sign of early spring, I could not help but feel alive and energized. The night that had promised me so many beautiful dreams had only let me down. But that was in the past now. A new day had already begun, and with it a came a new feeling of self-worth and appreciation.

I won’t lie, I think I have developed a mild infatuation with this guy who goes to my school. I will call him ‘Thursday’ simply because that is when he first introduced himself to me at one of our weekly meetings. And to be honest, it has been so long since I have had a crush on someone that everything feels new and exciting all over again.

I always refer to this stage as ‘pre-love,’ but what it really is is a mezmorizing period of uncertainties. It is like solving an impossibly difficult math problem with too many unknown variables. But unlike my relationship with math, this kind of problem is far more intriguing.

You know that feeling where suddenly you become concious of yourself? When suddenly you wonder if you are standing upright, if your legs are crossed the right way, if your hair is positioned just how you like it? You know that pivotal moment when you can feel the uncertainty of where to place your hands and how to articulate your thoughts?

For the first time in a long time I felt that feeling- that nervous first impression stage where you so desperately want to be noticed, but at the same time want to remain anonymous, quietly observing the beauty of your surroundings.

I walked home under the most dazzling azure winter sky last night. The pale glow from the sun still burned in the west as the opposite horizon remained quiet, bathed in deeper shade of blue and reflected over the Charles River with the same color.  

I could feel love come at me from all directions- although not entirely sure from where.

Love, R

friday night shuffle

Dear Soulmate,

What do Fridays mean to you?

Do you like to unwind after a long week at a bar, at home or somewhere difficult to get to that requires a long distance drive?

In a recent news report I read how people’s personalities can be broken down simply by the things they Google. I figure that people’s typical Friday night plans perhaps reveal the same about them.

Even when I don’t go out on a Friday, there is enough energy around me to make me feel that I have. Traffic streams into the city, pouring into the one-way streets and melding into strips of red and white lights down the city’s more busier routes.

With the holidays quickly approaching, the incentive to see Boston in all its seasonal decor only heightens.

It is easy to get lost in the busy shuffle of people coming and going, like standing in a crowded airport terminal.

Sometimes just walking through the city at this time of year on Friday nights feel very much like Christmas eve. There is a hint of promise and excitement that hangs off the bare tree branches, threaded with strings of dazzling lights. There is something optimistic in the way skaters glide around the common’ s rink, moving together in the same circular direction.

It’s comforting to say the least- like seeing an old friend again. And it’s a lot like being in love.

Finally, as I sit here and write to you,  the sun has finally poured its rays onto the rain slicked streets. After days of being blanketed by a drenching rain and dark clouds, its long overdue appearance is most definitely welcomed.

I hope you have a wonderful Friday, whatever your plans may be. If I don’t see you then just know that I always wish you the best of everything in the world.

Love, R

an apology in advance

Dear Soulmate,

I never give up on anyone or anything I believe in. I am not giving up on you.

While I am content to reside in the mystery of who you are, I have received many e-mail inquiries as to who I am. As I have mentioned to you before, everything you need to know about me you will learn upon first glance.

But the other things you will learn will take time, and that is simply because love takes time. Things like my infatuation with reading song lyrics, my habitual routine of always making the bed in the morning, my belief that the sun and sea cures everything, and contrary to how many women feel, I don’t mind what the humidity does to my hair.

I am not easy, and I apologize in advance for that. When we fight, please know that I love you. When I walk away, please know that I am here for you. When I tell you I have doubts that we will work out, please know that I am lying to you- and when I start to cry because of how ashamed I am of that please forgive me.

Just know that I have never given up on you, and even if we never meet, I will have at least succeeded in the belief that you are somewhere out there.

Love, R