in and out of love

Dear Soulmate,

To say that I have been doing some soul-searching lately would be an understatement. Lately I feel as though I have been falling in and out of old dreams. Love, nonetheless.

And the only thing more complicated than falling in love is falling in and out of it all day long.

As I was out driving the other day I began to think about monogamy. Perhaps all the Sex and the City episodes I have watched are finally catching up to me, but for whatever reason I feel more discouraged about relationships and real love than I ever did before.

Maybe it’s not practical- to be with one person for your whole life. How can we expect to feel the same way for someone forever when half of us don’t even know what we are going to do tomorrow.

But more importantly, is being in love worth falling in love?

Of course if I knew the answer to all these questions then I would most certainly not be sitting inside on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, wondering where you are.

Love, R

a few good men?

Dear Soulmate,

I am going to be honest when I say that it is sometimes difficult to believe that there are good men out there.

As I walked out of North Station today some guy approached me asking for a dollar for the T. When I told him I only had a credit card he added, “you’re really pretty, do you have a boyfriend?”

And had he not looked like the kind of guy who would say that to anyone walking down the street, I may have been more inclined to consider it remotely if not slightly flattering.

But as I walked home I could not help but be convinced that all men are only after one thing. And if there are any women out there like me, I keep that under lock and key.

Needless to say Boston’s dreary and drizzly overcast today did anything but help elevate my mood to some level of normalcy.

I cannot help but feel like Carrie Bradshaw today in Sex and the City when she states that she is like a fly strip for dysfunctional men.

Perhaps I should have never left my house today.

Missing you, R

stand by me?

Dear Soulmate,

You know those days when you just feel like the world is asking too much from you? These are the days when I feel like running back to my warm bed and hiding from the world- my equivalent of putting up a “not in service sign.”

please do not disturb

The best way I have learned to deal with a bad day is simply to let it in. And when it rains it pours. But once I have decided that my day is going to be slightly off key it is like I have triggered the fall of the first domino in a long and winding chain.

I have found that most of my bad days are a result of interactions with people, and not things like spilling coffee or being late for an important meeting.

I have learned that people are not always going to like you. They will not always agree with you. Some will intentionally push you around and let you down. But the important thing to remember is that you are who you are, and in the wise words of Sex and the City’s leading lady Carrie Bradshaw, “that’s just fabulous.”

The best part about having an off day is being able to laugh about it later, however still stressed out or exhausted you may be. There is nothing quite so humbling as sitting down at the end of the day and enjoying the company of someone who really knows you, who will stand by you regardless.

These people are difficult to find, but they make life worth the trials of every bad day.

So I wonder, where are you now that my day is over?

Love and cheers,
R