raining in new york

Dear Soulmate,

It’s raining here in New York. It’s been raining for an entire week. The streets are slick and the parks are lush in their new green coats. Umbrellas parade down the avenues and rain boots create ripples in the puddles where they stand.

He called me yesterday to see if we could talk. It seems the perfect weather to do so. It’s the kind of weather that’s synonymous with apologies and goodbyes, but I can no longer afford to be that girl who waits for the rain to let up.

Instead, I kept with my routine and went for a run along the Hudson River. An old friend of mine asked me to meet him for happy hour drinks later, and I suggested a bar where one of the bartenders caught my eye earlier this week… much to my date’s dismay.

But if I’ve learned anything from the past, it’s that you can’t let the rain dictate the way you go about your day any more than you can let upsets in love. There are too many beautiful things to look forward to.

And if you don’t believe me, wait until the sun comes out.

Love Love, R

“i hope he’s a really good guy”

Dear Soulmate,

“I hope he’s a really good guy.”

That’s what he wrote to me last week after learning over e-mail that I found someone new. That’s what he wrote from New Zealand to New York.

I sat at my computer, watched the rain fall outside my apartment window, hoping that he would say more than that.

And is he a good guy?

Yes. But this morning he lied about something and the trust between us wavered. I turned over in bed, putting my back to him. He tried to kiss me. He tried to make up for his mistake. He tried to apologize.

Somehow though, his apologies went unanswered, echoing down the long hallway of regret.

We had a cup of coffee and walked to the subway.

I didn’t have much to say this morning. I’m tired and disappointed. I want more than ever to send an e-mail to New Zealand from New York, saying you are the one who has me so completely. You are the one who has me thinking of you on this cold, rainy sidewalk on 7th Avenue, looking into the eyes of someone I do not feel as strongly for.

But I won’t send an e-mail, maybe just this post out into the void, hoping that someone somewhere will believe in love amidst all this noise.

I walked back to my apartment, climbed the stairs to my door. I feel alone again, halfway around the world from love.

Love Love, R

what took you so long?

Dear Soulmate,

Despite the dreary overcast that has appeared to be more of a staple in the weather pattern than just another gloomy day, I feel more or less energetic.

Perhaps the best news of my morning arrived when I learned that the tall ships have arrived in port! At last, my most favorite celebration in Boston is here.

Perhaps there is a sailor out there who caught a favorable wind this season. Who knows.

I joked to my sister yesterday that by the time I finally do meet you I will probably be so upset with you. I will probably start a fight before I even introduce to you my name. I will most likely say, “What took you so long to get here?”

Of course I am only kidding- I will be so happy to have finally found you, and proud for never settling for anything less.

To all the readers in the area, I hope you get a chance to check out Boston’s tall ships! The website is worth a peek, too. It’s very well designed.

Anyway, keep in touch and see you out there!

Love, R

p.s. fun fact: the guy who i am dancing with in my avatar was my first crush… and i just found out this weekend he is engaged. yikes!

p.p.s. is it worth joining twitter?

just me

Dear Soulmate,

If you want to know who I am, it can best be explained through how I spent my weekend. 

I woke up Saturday morning and went for a long run along the Charles. All of Boston appeared to be glowing across the river in the morning sunlight. Sails were being hoisted and rowing shells were being gracefully pushed through the water by long sturdy oars. Onward I went, carrying summer with me in my stride.

Later, after a brisk cool shower, I exchanged my running shoes for my flip flops. I slid into my summer clothes- the ones I usually only dream about wearing and instead have to don heavy sweaters and wool jackets. But not this weekend. It was 94 in Boston!

Then I headed out with a friend to the beach for the afternoon. In the car I stripped the sunroof back and played Kenny Chesney… letting my mind switch gears into summer mode. The ice cubes in my iced coffee rattled in the center console as I shifted gears and headed north on 95. 

It was a beautiful day.

On Sunday I went back to the beach again, this time absent of company. Instead I gathered a stack of my favorite magazines and set my iced coffee in the sand beside me. I watched the waves curl in front of me and felt the mid-morning sun soothe away any anxieties. 

I looked out to the Atlantic through my aviators, as far as my eyes could reach. It still was not enough to see you, though. But I will be forever looking.

Love R

p.s. check out this week’s “your soulmate, your letter”

against the violet hues

Dear Soulmate,

Who am I, you ask?

I’m the one who drives with the windows down in 30 degree weather and does not mind what it does to my hair. I’m the one who sips iced coffee even when it snows. I wear flip flops all year long. I never get tired of looking at the ocean. I am fascinated with the belief that everyone has their own story, and it is beautiful in its own way.

I’m the one who believes that everybody has an eternal summer within them.

It is fair to assume from today’s wind chill that winter has finally arrived here in New England. The leaves have all been swept away from storm drains and front steps- where they clung stubbornly for weeks.  Bare tree branches sway back and forth outside my window, stark and colorless. Alas the seasons of warmth, color and light have all faded into memories of the past like photographs in a box in the attic.

Where are you? Perhaps maybe you are on a chairlift in British Columbia, with your face tilted toward the brilliant sun as your skis dangle freely against the snow covered mountain below. Perhaps you are lying on a beach, hiking a scenic trail, sitting by a fire or sleeping. Perhaps you are standing on a pier watching the moon rise against the violet hues of the evening. Perhaps it is here, in this enchanting scene, where you are reminded of me.

Wherever you are just know that I love you. With that thought, I promise that you will stay warm.

Love, R

stay warm

Dear Soulmate,

If you were in Boston today you may have been just as unpleasantly surprised as I by the dramatic shift in temperature that finally cast all my doubts aside that winter is finally here.

Much to my dismay the wind did not make any direction for walking favorable. The wind even chased my footsteps down the stairs of the subway and underground I finally found relief.

Sometimes Boston in the winter can feel very much like being stuck in a dark subway tunnel. This is when I would much prefer to hibernate.

But then there are those moments when in the passing of strangers you comiserate with one another. With expressions of unenthused understanding you say you would much prefer to be walking in shorts and a tee shirt that having your visibility obstructed by hats and scarfs that hide your face.

Perhaps now would be a good time for me to tell you that I hope you enjoy the winter. This way you may enlighen me with the more glamorous side of winter that I tend to overlook in my anticipation for summer.

Tell me how you used to play in the snow for hours when you were younger. Tell me how much you love the sun on your face when you close your eyes as you ride the charlift. Tell me you love the sound of freshly fallen snow crunching beneath your boots as you walk. Tell me that you’ll keep me warm despite that my hands are always cold.

Tell me that you love me and I’ll stay warm forever.

All my love, R

bridges of memory county

Dear Soulmate,

They say that New Englanders begin every conversation by commenting on the weather. It is an interesting and fairly accurate observation although it is difficult to reason. Perhaps the best explanation I can provide is simply that the weather here changes so frequently, and never usually for the better, that each moment of sun and fair temperature is a call for a rewarding celebration, or at least mention.

So I begin to write to you today by sending you all the glory that this most spectacular autumn day in New England has given me thus far. It is the kind of day that makes me want to drive through the hills of Vermont just to watch the sunlight play through the colored leaves and reflect off the sparkling rivers as the water tumbles freely over rocks. I long for this kind of freedom, this kind of escape today.

This is autumn in New England at its best; its story told through winding roads and covered bridges.

I cannot wait for our two journeys to intersect. I cannot wait to explore all the roads you have taken that have led you here, to me. So I ask you to take your time, take in everything, because these are the moments that will make me smile and laugh. These are the moments that will make me fall more in love with you, because it is who you are, and the chapters of your story will be as much mine as they are yours.

All my love, R

saturday’s overcast

Dear Soulmate,

Today I wandered through the city streets alone with my hands in my pocket under an overcast sky that was ripe with the promise of rain. I could not help but feel as wanderlust as the lost leaves that swirled in the wind around buildings and in between the brake lights of stopped traffic. These are the days I feel like giving up on you- I feel like untying the lines that bind me to the promise of a safe harbor, and sailing off into the impending winter storms on the horizon instead. I feel alone and hopeless.

I will not lose faith though, and I refuse to believe that this journey of mine will be absent of the beauty that you will show me. It is strange though to feel lonely- to miss someone who has not yet even filled a space in my heart. Perhaps it is the hope, the dream of you that leaves a void, and a place for you to fill.

I witnessed two separate wedding parties being photographed around town today. One bride walked down a sidewalk outside the church, escorted by two matching bridesmaids who assisted the bride with carrying her dress. People passing on the sidewalk all glanced over, some even moving to get a better view. Other people pointed her out from across a city street streaming with cars. Cameras were flashed as though she was a celebrity. All the bystanders who caught a glimpse of her were smiling.

Where there is love, there is joy.

The principle of love creating this radiant joy that results in outward expressions of happiness is incredibly enchanting. It is the fairy tale of romance. There need not be a knight in shining armor or true love’s kiss- there needs only to be that kind of love that sparks that kind of joyfulness that makes even strangers smile.

Someday, I know, our story will make others smile just the same.

Love, R