love and money. what gives?

Dear Soulmate,

My parents met each other when they were in their early twenties–when they were younger than I am now. My dad only had a few dollars to his name. He dropped out of college and was driving aimlessly across the country when my mom met and fell in love with him.  She knew instantly that he was the one she was going to marry.

This summer I met someone wonderful. He loves to travel and we both share a lot of similar passions. I didn’t tell my parents that I fell in love with him in those few days we spent together this summer. I didn’t tell them that he was it for me. I didn’t tell them that no one has treated me that well, ever. In fact, I’m only telling this now.

Consider it a confession of some sort–one of those thoughts that goes out and gets lost somewhere intangible but has the potential to be heard somehow. It wasn’t until today that I was reminded of how much I love him for who he is when my mom stood in the kitchen and ushered some remark about how my future husband will have to be a very patient man. She went on to say something about how he will have to make enough money, be financially well off, and be capable of supporting a family.

In the heat of the moment, I told her that I loved him. I told her it didn’t matter how much money we made, so long as we’re happy we’ll make it.

Isn’t she being hypocritical in encouraging me to suppress my love for him when she was in the very same boat?

What does money even have to do with love anyway? If you can answer that question, you’re a lot smarter than I am.

Cheers, R

the first time

Dear Soulmate,

I have never been one to be cautious in love. I’ve been known to lead with my whole heart, leaving my head behind. I’ve learned the hard way that this can sometimes be the equivalent of walking blindfolded into a fire.

So now I am more cautious. I think about how my actions will affect love in the long-term. I hold my tongue when I feel like saying something that might alter the course. And I step back whenever I sense myself becoming attached to someone who might hurt me. In other words, I have become more sensible.

And somehow, I always end up feeling a bit hurt, and a bit resentful that I might never be able to love like I did the first time.

I’ve often been told that you never get over your first love. You get over them. No matter how badly things ended though, you still linger in the magic that was your first time feeling like anything in the world is possible.

I still wonder if I’ll ever be able to love that fearlessly again, drop my gaurd and just take chances without thinking or worrying about where things will end up.

Or, is it better to be sensible when it comes to love?

Love Always, R

sharing love

Dear Soulmate,

Is there anything worse than being in love… and sharing your experiences with others only to have their judgment belittle your own?

I’ve always believed the importance of keeping an open mind and listening to most everyone’s commentary about the things I’m going through. But when it comes to love, I’ve learned to trust my own head and heart. This is why, perhaps, I learned no keep quiet about matters of the heart and choosing only writing it down.

The truth is that other people will keep you grounded. They might sound cynical when they say things might not work out. It’s hard to hold your tongue too and not act discouraged upon hearing them voice their seemingly irrational opinions. It’s ironic too when even the most happily married people doubt the possibility of two people meeting and falling in love.

Shakespeare did write that journeys end in lovers meeting. Can’t it just be that simple? Why does sharing love with others make everything seem so much more complicated?

If you can answer that question then you are much smarter than I.

At the end of the day though, I’ll stand by my conviction that you cannot go wrong when you follow your heart. This is something I know to be true. It’s why I do the things I do–like writing to you and sharing this blog and these words with the world.

Love Always, R

coffee and rain

Dear Soulmate,

It’s hard to believe that September is nearly over. Already the days are falling shorter and I can feel winter on the rise.

I spent last week in New York City, running around Central Park, getting lost in the frenzy of the subways and looking for you. I found solace on the benches in the park where messages of love were engraved on golden plaques. It’s always the simple things like reading these dedications that make the madness of even the most energizing city a bit more bearable.

Right now I’m sipping coffee and wondering where you might be. Sometimes I imagine you sitting at your computer in idle thought, other times enraptured in conversation, so removed from your surroundings.

Wherever you are, on this rainy afternoon, I think how wonderful it would be to hear your voice and see you smile.

Missing you, always.

Love Love, R

knock on my door

Dear Soulmate,

As promised, I will share with you a story that I have kept safe and set aside from some of the other wonderful memories I have made in the past few weeks.

It happened on one of those few rare days on the coast of Maine, when the humidity and haze engulf the harbors in blankets of heat that can be felt in warm pockets upon crossing the bay. Despite that it was nearly 95 degrees out, I was dressed in jeans and a white button-down shirt–already prepared for the sun to sink west and take with it the day’s unbearable warmth.

It wasn’t long before I was standing on the dock beside him, holding his hand, waiting to board a boat that would take us to a restaurant on a nearby island.

In what seemed like moments later, we were sitting beside one another, sipping wine and sampling oysters on the half shell. I remember the breeze that lingered in through the open windows of the restaurant, offering a much anticipated relief to an otherwise uncomfortably hot day.

By the time we boarded the boat en route back to the mainland, the stars were sparkling overhead, illuminating the water in dancing specks of lights. He put his arm around me as we sat on the bench by the stern. I remember each moment unfold as easily and comfortably as his fingers interlaced with mine.

A few minutes later, a woman in her mid-60s approached us. She sat down on the vacant seat on the far corner of the bench where we were sitting. Without so much as an introduction, she said, “I just wanted to let you know that you two are beautiful–and you’re beautiful together, beautiful to watch. I couldn’t leave without saying so.”

I ducked out of the spotlight from the overhead stern light to find that not only had we caught her attention, but had been the focal point for most other people on the boat who were staring in our direction in silent agreement.

“Wherever you two go, please knock on my door in a few years–I want to see both of you together again.”

It was a simple statement, but one that I will remember forever.

She ended up giving us her address, and I doubt that him or I have forgotten it.

Love Love, R

a moment at the cove

Dear Soulmate,

I put on my running shoes Monday morning and let the rhythmn of my feet against the dirt road carry me a few miles down toward a familiar cove.

When I arrived, I stood breathless, watching the morning sun spill out over the calm bay. The water appeared smooth and silky in the morning glow that hovered through wispy layers of clouds overhead. I recalled the cove as it was the day before, when the sun was at its highest point in the sky and the rocky beach was decorated with two pinstriped towels–one for me and one for him.

So much has happened in the past few days… so much has changed but so much has stayed the same. I have so many stories to divulge… the first of which I will in the next post.

Cheers and Love Always… Always Love, R

there’s been someone…

Dear Soulmate,

Sometimes you just know. You just know that you want to be with the one who makes you laugh, who brings you peace of mind and who makes you smile at the very thought of them.

There’s been someone in my life who does all these things. Most simply, he makes me feel alive. He lights me up even in the midst of the darkest winter. He’s one of my best friends… someone I run to when I’m most desperate for truth, for comfort and for love.

I saw him this past weekend for the first time in a year… and in a way, I feel like there’s nothing to worry about. It’s strange, too, because as I sit and write to you I’m surrounded by boxes that remind me that a moving date is drawing near. And in the midst of cover letters and resumes, I’m reminded of how unsettled my future is. Even my cat, who endured 13 years with me, could not stay.

But through all this craziness, this unsettled time of my life, I think of him and everything’s okay. I’ll make it through, I know.

Perhaps the most puzzling question that remains is why I haven’t made an effort to be with him… The easiest answer seems to be that experience has taught me to keep my distance.

Love Love, R

at the crossroads… of life.

Dear Soulmate,

I’m standing at the crossroads now. In some beautifully unknown direction is the perfect apartment, the dream job and you. Getting there is the hard part.

I’m starting off with nothing but my passion for writing, my unyielding determination and the courage to know that I won’t make too many mistakes.

The crazy thing is that I haven’t yet had time to breathe–to take this all in. As we get older most of us acquire more baggage; some more emotional, others more physical; like houses and children.

This might be the first time I have nothing holding me back, and nothing keeping me here.

Right now, everything is very much up in the air for me and the road ahead looks promising but uncertain. Still, I keep you in the back of my mind, and that is enough to remind me I’m not alone.

Love Love, R

smoothing the edges

Dear Soulmate,

I remember the way he said my name. I remember the songs that he told me reminded him of me. I remember the way he said he missed me. I remembered all these things as I sat at my desk this afternoon and stared blankly at my computer screen.

And then I could feel a wave of sadness wash over me the way the ocean breaks over a rocky coast–pouring into every crevice before withdrawing with the tide once more.

I wonder where love goes when it’s gone.  Two of my favorite quotes are from Washington Irving, who said, “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief… and unspeakable love.”

The other quote is slightly reminiscent of the solitary image of a lonely wave returning to the shore. “Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.”

I thought of these things this weekend as I sat down by the water and watched the waves pour themselves over the seaweed covered rocks. They softened the landscape with their melancholy rhythm.

And so I waited for the tide to soften the sharp edges–as they do to sea glass. After all, whenever something is broken–be it a heart or a piece of glass–it is hardly beautiful at first. But after enough time has passed, the edges get softened and then a beautiful souvenir is revealed.

I’m not quite there yet–just waiting for the edges to smooth.

Love Love, R

just go with it

Dear Soulmate,

Of all the things I’ve learned in the past few months, I have found the most valuable lesson when it comes to life and love is to simply just go with it.

Love takes some crazy turns, and I’ll admit that I have most always tried to prepare myself for them. In the past I tried to protect myself from being hurt by never admitting to someone how I felt for them. I denied my heart at the expense of it being broken. I denied someone the opportunity to be really and wholly loved. And in my active pursuit to prevent myself from being hurt, I ended up hurting myself even more.

Since then I have tried so desperately not to attach myself to people. I kiss without thinking anything of it, and I go out to dinner with guys with no expectation of doing anything more. I try my best to control the way I feel for someone.

But recently, I have learned that it is best not to overanalyze matters of the heart. Love is dangerously unpredictable and can chart a vast course that will take you to some unexpected places. Don’t wonder where the road will lead, or what each kiss means. Just take everything as it comes and simply go with it.

When you do this I have a sneaking suspiscion that love will somehow take care of the rest.

Love Love Always, R

i’ll be seeing you/in all the old familiar places

Dear Soulmate,

There are certain people and places that bring you back to yourself–that ground you and make you feel whole once again.

Last night I caught up with an old summertime friend over dinner and a bottle of wine. I hadn’t seen her in nearly a year so we had more than enough to talk about. The more we fell deeper into conversation and laughter, the more I felt like I was coming home.

I cannot articulate the feeling I get when I reunite with old friends from home. It’s strange and beautiful to be overwhelmed with a kind of happiness and love that seems to sweep away all the wintertime cobwebs that tangle my heart in its coldness and solitude–leaving me feeling lost and vulnerable.

And just when I feel at a loss for words, I am swept off my feet by the feeling of going home. It’s really a love affair I have with this echanting place where I return to every summer.

Home has a way of bringing you back to yourself. Whenever I feel lost, I find myself there.

There is something so rich and rewarding about returning home after a long year away. Reuniting with familiar faces, running down my favorite dirt road, tasting the salt on my skin and feeling the weight of the summer sky overhead remind me that anything is possible. And I wonder now, as I write, is it possible to be seduced by a place? I think so.

But even more than that, it is completely and wholly possible to be seduced by love.

Love Love, R

p.s. I had to change my ringtone (for perhaps the third time in my life) to Mat Kearney’s “Closer to Love.” Why? Because that’s the song I love listening to most when I drive home. Kind of an odd thing to do, but isn’t it crazy that something as simple as a ringtone can bring you such happiness sometimes?

walk me home

Dear Soulmate,

Just the other night, by coincidence, I ended up downtown in a restaurant across from a bar where my friend was. We walked home together, over the Charles. Though I have enjoyed a Sunday jog with him, numerous sails across the bay, a car drive down to Maryland, and a trip to the beach, something was different about this evening in particular.

He is one of those guys who I am completely comfortable with- the kind of guy who I describe as someone who I could walk for miles beside in uncomfortable shoes and not feel anything.

For the first time in a long time, it felt good just to be in someone’s company. As we were discussing relationships and all that that entails, I mentioned how, unlike my sister, I have too much pride to drunk dial a guy I like. I feel that it gives him the upper hand.

I simply said that “I don’t want him to know that I think about him.”

My friend replied, “What don’t you think about?”

That comment followed me home as we split for our separate ways.

Perhaps I think too much… and maybe that has been what has gotten in the way of really learning to live in the moment.

So my advice to you, dear reader, is to simply just live.

Don’t overanalyze, don’t question. Just learn to walk beside someone without questioning where the road may take you.

Love Always, R

under the covers

Dear Soulmate,

I know he is not right for me. I wake up every morning and go through the motions of my morning routine, counting all the reasons why I deserve someone better. By the time I have lingered long enough in the hallway, brushing my teeth while aimlessly wandering through the door frames of other rooms, I conclude that heartbreak should not last this long. No one should have to endure this.

I have heard it countless times and agree that the best way to get over someone is to meet someone else. But as circumstance would have it, there is no one else at the moment. And there has not been someone else for a long time.

So now I wonder, what do I do in the in between?

It was raining when I woke up this morning- the kind of rain that falls hard and softens the landscape. I pulled the covers over my head after glancing at the clock across the room that glowed with the time of 7am. Who gets up this early on a morning like this? Then I realized, as I mechanically threw back my warm covers and placed my bare feet on the hardwood floor below me, I do.

But how wonderful would it be to wake up beside someone who makes you want to start the day with radiant energy, even if the sun has decided not to. How wonderful it must be to feel that stinging sensation of happiness like the warmth of the sun on even the darkest, gloomiest of days.

But right now, as I sip my morning coffee and dread the thought of opening up my umbrella to step outside again, I realize that being alone, without you, is not all that bad. You will see, one day when we meet, that all this time apart has made me stronger and more able to appreciate the time I have with you.

And how wonderful that will be, someday.

All my love, R

nice to meet you- the thought of you

Dear Soulmate,

Spring is almost here. I can hear the birds begin their song in the morning, lingering outside my window long enough to make me believe the weather is warmer but short enough to remind me that it will take its time.

I went for a run along the harbor today. The overcast sky was oppressive and the broken clouds off in the distance told me that the sun would shine once more in time. Still, I wish it had rained.

I wish it had poured, the kind where you sleep in late and watch the sheets of rain casade down the windows while you lay in bed. I remember these mornings. I remember feeling complete and alive, finally realizing how beautiful life can truly be. I remember when even the rain made me happy.

But that was a different time, before I met you or the thought of you.

They say that people will be attracted to you when you are at your happiest. This makes sense of course- it is easy to find happiness attractive in anyone. But I have often found that when I finally reach that state of complete bliss, that someone always has to come along and let me down again. I then find myself with the conflicted decision not to get close to anyone for fear of them destructing my own happiness.

But I realize how selfish that sounds. I also realize that not letting someone in on such counts means risking never finding a greater kind of happiness. And there is no greater happiness than being in love. Or, is there?

Chocolate, perhaps?

Love Always, R

p.s. submit your own letter to your soulmate, what do you have to say?

happily never after.

Dear Soulmate,

I remember my life before you- before I really truly believed in you. And as I look back, it appears to look a lot like settling.

I do not remember the look in his eyes before I walked away- how could I, he never took his sunglasses off. But now I realize, that there was nothing in his eyes that could even look anything like love. And last night, as I lay awake in sleepless thought, I began to think about the last time we saw one another so many months ago.

I can still hear the ocean gently lapping the rocks as the afternoon’s southwesterly breeze stirred the west bay into a frenzy of white sails, fleeting across the horizon in a race. I still remember that feeling of a complete loss of self worth when I realized, in the silence that screamed so loudly between us, that I was not worth the fight.

I was not worth getting angry, or upset over. I was not even worth so much as someone taking off their sunglasses, looking me in the eyes, and telling me I was not enough.

But little did I know that that pivotal moment, when your love hits the ground, would not be the hardest one. The days and months to come would be the time when I would realize that even still, in the age of instant communication via texts, emails and phone calls, I was not even worth an apology.

I suppose that this is where our story begins, dear soulmate. You have given me a reason to believe that I do deserve the very best. And someday I will print all these letters out and tie them together with a ribbon. And then you will know the whole story.

Love, R

sundays are for lovers

Dear Soulmate,

It is snowing again in Boston and I am sitting here, sipping coffee, debating if I should forgo my morning run. Perhaps I will make my decision when the snow has accumulated in such a way that it negates all possibility.

For whatever reason, I have always held Sunday to be a day for lovers. Maybe it is the way in which the city moves at a pace in pairs, linked arms and held hands. It is different than during the weekdays when commuters move by themselves, quietly with little interaction between one another. Maybe the monotony of the daily grind is attributed to the fact that we all shut ourselves off from one another more on the weekdays than the weekends.

Regardless, if Sundays are in fact for lovers, then I will at least keep one in mind if I choose to stroll the snow-dusted streets alone today. And seeing as I have been more inclined to stray from my past and move forward in the direction of more optimistic thoughts, I have kept Thursday, as I call him, in mind.

He is currently in Italy right now, and will return in about a week. The more I sit here and think about him the more obvious it becomes that I hardly know him at all. But something has me convinced that I would like him even more if I got to know him better.

The thing is, I love meeting new people. It is like pulling a new book from the shelf. It is true in any case that the more of their story that you know, the more involved you become with them. Their life suddenly affects yours, too, like any good novel.

So I wonder, what good book have you read or will read on this Sunday afternoon?

Love, R

p.s. I will post this week’s letter on the “your soulmate, your letter” page tonight

i miss you

Dear Soulmate,

I miss you. I miss all the time we are losing right now. I miss how every night I sleep alone, without you, and wonder where you are. But maybe this time without one another is a time for us to grow separately into who we want to be, and who we will be.

Know that when I first meet you, you will have already won me over. You will not need to search for all the right words, I will have already heard them. You will have already exceeded all my expectations.

And even if our story goes unwritten for the next few years, know that I have been writing it for some time now. These letters are the beginning of our story, and I cannot wait for you to read them.

During the days when winter seems to last forever, my thoughts often drift to you and I wonder if you ever think of me. Is it possible to think about someone who you have never met? I suppose I am used to it- drafting ficticious characters for novels and making their stories come alive with words.

But when it comes to you, my cursor blinks hesitantly on my screen. I fail to describe you in words. I cannot imagine who you are. How can you describe someone who exceeds your own expectations.

How do you possibly describe your soulmate?

Love, R

people in love

Dear Soulmate,

Do you ever dream about an inescapable love from your past? Last night I dreamt about him again, the one who left me with so many unanswered questions. But our story is not a tragedy, he made me happier than I’ve ever been, and for that I am forever grateful to him.

I woke up this morning feeling a peace of mind than I have felt in a long time. My dream was elusive, as most dreams are. I cannot explain where I was or what I was doing, but I was with him. And as I have mentioned previously, when he walks into my dreams he usually destroys them.

He is often cold and unforgiving, always leaving and never answering my questions. But this dream was different. We were together, like a team. We were unstoppable, invicincible, and I was happy again.

People often notice people in love. They are glowing and alive in a way that is impossible to emulate. This is how I used to feel, and hope to one day feel again, with you.

I do not wish to go back, for I know now that time has turned the pages and history has written chapters of my life that cannot be altered. I miss him and will always love him, but I will love you, too. Give me some time and you will see that you are everything to me.

You will learn that I have waited so long for wonderful, and that every night, hour, minute in your absence has been worth the wait.

Love, R

want to write to someone you love in your past or future?

post valentine’s day

Dear Soulmate,

Now that Valentine’s Day is over and lovers can return to their routine rituals of being in love- something that looks a lot like Valentine’s Day everyday- it is safe for a single girl like me to venture back out into the world.

The aftermath of this Hallmark holiday is perhaps the best part. Boxes of once expensive chocolates are now on sale, flower arrangements that are still in bloom are half-price, and there’s no one to bombard you with that dreadfully discouraging question that asks who your valentine is.

But it is also a bittersweet time, too. People return to the daily grind without any major impending holiday on the horizon to look forward to. Newspapers are printed with headlines so redundant that they have lost their impact. Now where do we go?

If you are like me, then you probably just wanted to stay in bed today and hide. But there are always things to get done and progress to be made.

I cannot help but wonder how much more enjoyable this long, cold season would be if you were beside me. In your absence though, I am writing to you.

Maybe someday I will print all these letters out and neatly stack them for you with a ribbon around them.

And I will send them to you with love.

Love, R

where you are

Dear Soulmate,

As I write to you tonight I am thinking of all the places you may be. I realize it is a Friday night here in Boston and I should be out with my friends, but I feel inclined to stay in instead and write to you.

The truth is that February always leaves me feeling distraught. Whenever I go out I often find myself alone and disappointed at the end of the night. Outside the cold air feels oppressive and lonely, seeping in through the windows in a cool unwanted draft and stealing the warmth inside.

But the reason I find February such a lonesome month is because of the holidays that came before it.

Being single during the holidays is undeniably difficult. New Year’s is no exception either, with the expectation of midnight kisses. But then come mid-January the romance and excitement subsides and people seem to return to their daily lives.

And when Valentine’s Day finally swings around a few weeks later in February, I find that I have exhausted all my energy on trying not to let the loneliness of the holidays bring me down.

While there is no shame in being lonely, it is a difficult emotion that often takes you down many avenues that can leave you feeling cold and undeserving of love.

But perhaps it is simply the end of a long week that has me feeling discouraged and evaluative of my current emotions. Perhaps the best thing to do right now is sit back, relax, put my feet up and dream about the days to come when I will not have to wonder where you are.

All my love, R

i like you

Dear Soulmate,

How do you go from simply introducing yourself to someone to being in a relationship with them?

I often wonder this when I pass happy couples holding hands and laughing. I suppose the easiest answer to my question would be ‘time.’ But it’s much more than that. It’s a complicated web of emotions, a mind-boggling analysis of body language, a heart-racing interpretation of chemistry, and a host of other factors. 

Though it’s easy to pick up a relationship how-to guidebook or simply observe people’s interactions, I wonder if we are all just putting off the inevitable- just saying, “I like you.”

I look back at all my other realtionships and they have stemmed from a commonality- being at the same place at the same time. The majority of myrelationships were built upon a careful construction of friendship and attraction simply by getting used to that other person.

But I wonder, how many people just bypassed all the courtship and cut right to the chase. Why not just tell someone you are interested in them? I give this advice to my friends all the time- even if they are unaware if he or she already has a girlfirend or boyfriend.

And I wonder, how will we meet? Will it develop over a period of time, while knowing all along that we are right for each other? Or will it be instant? I am not sure which one is better and doubt if one method is more successful over the other.

But rather than delay the inevitable, think about how much easier it would be to just say, ”I think I like you?”

And now, as I consider doing just the same to the boy I have referred to as ‘Thursday,’ I realize how much fun the alternative is.

And so once more I stand hopeful on the edge of love- wondering where it may take me.

Love, R

play by your own rules

Dear Soulmate,

Whoever wrote the rules on love in the 21st century, was horribly mistaken. I understand that it is normal to meet someone at a party or bar under the influence of alcohol and develop a relationship around the ever-failing notion of no-strings-attached. But that doesn’t make it right.

While throwing rocks at someone’s window is not only outdated but unconventional, there are other gestures of love that are not as old fashioned. What about dates, like dinner and a movie? I was recently informed that “lunch dates” are the new dinner dates. The most noted reason for this is because it is convienent.

But in a more indirect way, the idea of going out for lunch with someone on a date negates the expectations of going home with them after and sets the romantic stage in a more casual light. How long are we going to pretend that we are all too busy for love?

When will we stop playing by societies rules of love, and embrace our own- no matter how old fashioned they may be?

And so now, dear soulmate and avid readers, I urge you to reconsider the 21st century ideals of what romance should be. Instead, I encourage you to foster your own throughts about love. Be original and creative- you’ll be surprised how far it will take you… perhaps even into the arms of someone you most deserve.

And as far as the 21st century is concerned- there are no rules on love.

Love and Cheers, R

p.s. what’s the bravest thing you would do to tell someone you love them? if you could write to your soulmate, what would you say? your soulmate, your letter

p.p.s. if you live in snowy regions of the world- how excited are you for spring?

twilight’s glow

Dear Soulmate,

In my letters to you I have found the ones written about “Twilight” to be the most popular. And to be honest I was not completely impressed with the idea of another science fiction phenomenon comparable to Harry Potter to take center stage in popular culture.

"you are my life now"

But then I fell in love, not with Robert Pattinson, but with Edward Cullen. And had it not been for the complexity of his character, I may not have fallen so hard.

The obsession and infatuation that many people identify with Pattinson is one I would argue extends beyond his physically charming looks. Cullen’s appeal is in his love for Bella- his devotion, his selflessness and his one liner’s like “you are my life now.”

With the exception of being a vampire, how romantic is that?

In what I would consider a decent performance by Pattinson that showcases his genuine talent for acting, the movie tends to derail from the tracks of make believe and onto the tracks of reality instead.  Cullen’s  motives are convincing. His character is well crafted, his lines delivered with purpose and intention. And while the science fiction infused plot may be difficult to relate to, his love for Bella is a story that many people can identify with.

And as “Twilight’s” impressive following reveals, they do.

We all want to be needed, to feel like we have contributed to each other’s lives in ways that give ours meaning. It is a truth universally acknowledged that no one likes to be alone.

“Twilight” proves to its audience with conviction that there is a kind of love that is transformative- that changes your life in ways you never imagined. The kind of love that melts your own believes, values and dreams with someone else’s. The kind that makes you feel whole.

And if you’ve found that kind of great love, then you already know how inspired and passionate you may feel upon even looking at them- let alone sharing your life with them.

The word soulmate may even cross your mind.

Love, R

on my way to you

Dear Soulmate,

January is beginning to take its wear on Boston. The sidewalks are coated with patches of unwanted ice and periodically sprinkled with sand and salt that accumulate to form a messy wintry slush. The subway and buses are crowded with tired scarf wrapped faces and newspapers printed with repetitive and discouraging headlines.

The phrase ‘happy new year’ seems as out of context as having a good day. Yes, it is January. And yes, it is the middle of winter. But resolutions aside, it is a hopeful time.

Although the 9 to 5 grind is  inconvenienced by freezing temperatures, and a a commute often riddled by inclement weather, the days are getting longer and a time of change is around the corner.

Winston Churchill once said that change is only good if it’s in the right direction. As I stood shivering in the cold waiting for the train to arrive at the station, I felt as though any change would suffice as an improvement. But it’s easy to feel this way when you are standing alone.

I recently heard a story about a man in his 70′s who had never been married but did in fact still date. While people may cast criticism on a seemingly eccentric serial dater, I saw a much different situation. In many ways I felt sympathetic and heartbroken.

The truth is that life is hard enough. Imagine going through it alone. I would wish that upon no one.

As the train took me through downtown, winding through underground tunnels, I felt that my direction of travel may not have been the one that led me to you- but it at least led me closer.

Every day I am moving toward you. Bit by bit, little by little we are getting closer. And when we finally meet we will both learn that the time we spent apart was worth the wait to find one another.

Love, R

all that you can’t leave behind

Dear Soulmate,

There’s a 1994 bottle of Pinot Noir from Mendocino, California that sits in the basement collecting dust. There are stacks of records, four-foot long skis from when I was nearly ten years old, two kayaks from adventures on nearby lakes and rivers and other miscellaneous clutter that is saturated with memories.

My grandfather grew up in the Great Depression and left behind a past that may have you convinced otherwise. Beautiful houses furnished with pictures frozen in time and walls that still breathe with life are seemingly trivial in describing his legacy.

The reality though is that there is so much he left behind- trunks full of archives, documents and papers. History comes alive with each word.

As I stand in his cold basement, I wonder, what will become of my generation? Our lives virtually exist somewhere in cyberspace. Our interests are captured on Facebook pages, our favorite quotes suspended someplace intangible like MySpace.

What worthy things will we leave behind for the following generations?

I hardly know any friends who have heaps of journals stacked on their desks, or have as many framed pictures as those that adorn the shelves in my grandfather’s library.

My generation keeps their pictures on their hard drive, their music in their iTunes libraries and their pictures up on websites. I suppose blogs may potentially even suffice for journal entries.

So what is left behind then? Have we become so dependent on technology that we forget the beauty and simplicity of things like creating photo albums that exist somewhere other than online?

I shutter as I make my way back upstairs to where the light pours through the tall windows and spills onto the hardwood floors where his feet used to pass. In the living room I stumble across an engagement invitation that falls from between the pages of an old book. My grandparents names are both etched in cursive alongside a date that is reminiscent of one found in a history textbook.

I smile and for a moment feel peace of mind. My eyes wander to the hallway now where rows of framed pictures of children and grandchildren line the wall.

There will always be love to leave behind. And that will always be more than enough.

Love, R

peace of mind

Dear Soulmate,

If meteorologists get it right this time then we are in for quite the snow storm. Or if you are a like me and desensitized by New England’s seasonal snow squalls, then we are in for a mere “dusting.”

footprints in the snow

Right now though, the view from my window looks promising for a blizzard ripe with the potential for dumping a foot of snow on Boston.

This is not the kind of snowfall that is terribly romantic. Rather than fall delicately it instead swirls around, lost in the biting wind before finally settling on the pavement- much to a shovler’s dismay.

White out conditions remind me a lot of the fog. My mind lingers back to that mysterious lingering mist that hangs over the islands in Maine where the pine trees cast errie silhoutetes.

In the midst of winter, I am reminded of summer.

It is in this same fog and whitewash where I feel slightly trapped but slightly comforted. The beauty of this contraditiction is felt in the silence I feel in both situations.

When it snows, the city silences itself. Traffic becomes less frequent and even walking down an unshoevled sidewalk feels like trespassing. The city pauses for a few moments to breathe.

When the fog rolls in boats drop their sails. The once windy bay is motioness, calm and untouched like a mirror.

Both of these scenarios lend me tremendous peace of mind. But more importantly when I am standing on the dock of a fog shrouded harbor or walking down city streets blanketed by fresh snow, I find forgiveness for things I cannot change.

The fog and snow teach you to look at the present moment, neither ahead nor behind. The restricted visibility allow you to concentrate on the here and now.

So I wonder, why aren’t you here now?

All my love, R

by the time you finally meet me

Dear Soulmate,

There are so many times when I convince myself that I have seen you or perhaps will see you in the near future. Every corner I turn, every door that I open, I always have this hope that our paths will cross.

I wonder, is it wrong to always be thinking of you in this frantic treasure hunt kind of way? Why can’t I just sit back and wait for you to come to me, or at least wait for time to author our story? Why do I have this incessant urge to pursue you.

I suppose the easiest answer is that I feel at a loss when I look around at other people holding hands and kissing. I feel at a loss when I watch movies where Hollywood stages captivating romances entangled in real life scenarios.

I feel at a loss without you.

the notebook's allie and noah

When I look around at everyone else who appears in love, I too want to share laughter, kisses and stories with someone who cares about me. While I am certainly not alone, I sometimes cannot help but feel it. This I suppose only makes me human.

While you may argue that my longing for you is simply a product of the holidays that remind me that it is the season for love and being loved, or maybe the cold nights followed by colder mornings, my yearning for you stems from another notion.

I fear that you will have missed so much of me by the time I finally meet you. And I fear that I will miss so much of you by the time you finally meet me.

While I am still young it is easy to harken back to my past loves, as those memories are not buried too deeply in my past.  I recall how I grew with all of them, and how they all saw me at my best and worse. I suppose you, too, will grow with me during a different more mature stage of my life. And you, too, will see me at my best and my worst.

What gives me comfort is knowing that who we are today has everything to do with where we are coming from.

All my love, R

in memory’s attic

Dear Soulmate,

I’ll admit that it’s sometimes difficult to believe in you. I’ll admit that there are times I doubt that you will ever come around. I’ll admit that there are times I am convinced our paths will never cross.

I realize though, as I sit here in seemingly idle thought, that these doubts only make me human.

Perhaps it is the holidays that always have a way of making me feel more alone instead of grateful for the love of family and friends I have all around me.

Truthfully, I just want to feel wanted again. The only way I can even imagine what that feeling may be like is if I go back- into that dreadfully prohibited place where memories cease to collect dust but instead flow freely despite the cluttered avenues of my mind.

What makes my past experiences so appealing is the thought that somewhere amidst all the memories of kissing in the rain and stealing affectionate glances, there arrives the curious and intriguing possibility that my past may just be my ticket to the future.

Have I already met you, soulmate?

There’s an old expression that says there’s a reason why some people in your past never make it to your future. Instead those people become either polished trophies or rusted antiques stored in boxes labeled “experience” stacked somewhere in memory’s attic.

If you are in fact a polished trophy, need you be stored only in my memory? Why can’t I parade you around instead, showing the world that I have found that all-encompassing achievement, life’s most beautiful reward. That I, too, have found love.

Perhaps I have simply forgotten you- like a trophy in the attic, gone unnoticed even after all the effort it took to earn it. Maybe love goes unnoticed sometimes.

Maybe one day I will reopen those boxes and find you.

Love, R

friday night shuffle

Dear Soulmate,

What do Fridays mean to you?

Do you like to unwind after a long week at a bar, at home or somewhere difficult to get to that requires a long distance drive?

In a recent news report I read how people’s personalities can be broken down simply by the things they Google. I figure that people’s typical Friday night plans perhaps reveal the same about them.

Even when I don’t go out on a Friday, there is enough energy around me to make me feel that I have. Traffic streams into the city, pouring into the one-way streets and melding into strips of red and white lights down the city’s more busier routes.

With the holidays quickly approaching, the incentive to see Boston in all its seasonal decor only heightens.

It is easy to get lost in the busy shuffle of people coming and going, like standing in a crowded airport terminal.

Sometimes just walking through the city at this time of year on Friday nights feel very much like Christmas eve. There is a hint of promise and excitement that hangs off the bare tree branches, threaded with strings of dazzling lights. There is something optimistic in the way skaters glide around the common’ s rink, moving together in the same circular direction.

It’s comforting to say the least- like seeing an old friend again. And it’s a lot like being in love.

Finally, as I sit here and write to you,  the sun has finally poured its rays onto the rain slicked streets. After days of being blanketed by a drenching rain and dark clouds, its long overdue appearance is most definitely welcomed.

I hope you have a wonderful Friday, whatever your plans may be. If I don’t see you then just know that I always wish you the best of everything in the world.

Love, R

you’re hot then you’re cold

Dear Soulmate,

You know that summer is officially over when your iced coffee freezes after a brisk five minute walk outside.

In effort to keep some traditions of this sunny season alive, I still wear flip flops around the house just to hear that familiar and comforting rhythm of summer tapping against my heels with every step. I’ve been known to flip open the cap of an old tube of last summer’s sunblock just to be reminded of that summer scent.

Why, you may ask, do I live in Boston then?

My life is very much a contradiction in the same way that you may hate to love love or love to hate love.

I love the summer but not in Boston. I love Boston but I don’t like the winter. I drink iced coffee all year although my hands are always cold- even in the summer. I have never dated nor been in a relationship but I have been in love.

Call them lovers, if you will.

Seeing as my generation is going through a phase where people are more inclined to “hook-up” with one another than be asked out to dinner and a movie, I do not see my lack of being in a serious relationship as excluding me from the dating scene. Welcome all to Gen-Y dating- hook-up first, date later… that is- if you pass the hook-up test first.

If I sound less enthused by the hook-up culture, understand that I am simply trying to make sense of it.

Life is full of contradictions- but should love be?

Stay warm, R

stand by me?

Dear Soulmate,

You know those days when you just feel like the world is asking too much from you? These are the days when I feel like running back to my warm bed and hiding from the world- my equivalent of putting up a “not in service sign.”

please do not disturb

The best way I have learned to deal with a bad day is simply to let it in. And when it rains it pours. But once I have decided that my day is going to be slightly off key it is like I have triggered the fall of the first domino in a long and winding chain.

I have found that most of my bad days are a result of interactions with people, and not things like spilling coffee or being late for an important meeting.

I have learned that people are not always going to like you. They will not always agree with you. Some will intentionally push you around and let you down. But the important thing to remember is that you are who you are, and in the wise words of Sex and the City’s leading lady Carrie Bradshaw, “that’s just fabulous.”

The best part about having an off day is being able to laugh about it later, however still stressed out or exhausted you may be. There is nothing quite so humbling as sitting down at the end of the day and enjoying the company of someone who really knows you, who will stand by you regardless.

These people are difficult to find, but they make life worth the trials of every bad day.

So I wonder, where are you now that my day is over?

Love and cheers,
R