living in the present

Dear Soulmate,

Yesterday I went up to Vermont to clear out my grandparents’ newly sold house and hopefully clear my mind.

As I sat on the floor of the pantry, delicately wrapping each ornately decorated plate with tissue paper, I began to think about all the beautiful meals that were once served on these plates, then passed around the table where conversation poured as eaisly as the wine.

I became instantly nostaglic for those quintessential New England Thanksgivings in Vermont when my holiday was quite literally dictated by that old song, “over the river and through the woods, to grandmother’s house we go.”

But with both my grandparents passed away, their home is now just a house and it feels like the party is very much over. And though it hurt with unimaginable pain when my grandfather passed away two years ago, it didn’t quite hurt to go back to his house just one last time.

I walked through the hallways and rooms swept clean of furniture. I tried to find a moment to call my own.

“A new beginning…” I kept saying as I carried boxes out to the U-Haul truck on the curb. “Change is good,” I kept reminding myself.

I’d always feard change, but now I was  unusually comfortable about it. Was I desensitized from thinking anything would last forever? Had I become so insistent upon living in the present that I neglected my past and future altogether?

These thoughts followed me back home to Boston where I crawled into bed under a full moon and wondered why I was even content to belittle my feelings for that wonderful person I met in the summer… writing it off as just a summer romance.

Living in the present can have its drawbacks.

Love Love, R

midnight kisses on 1.20.09

Dear Soulmate

Hold the champagne, the midnight kisses and the resolutions. The long anticipated New Year actually begins tomorrow, and I am certain that I will not be the only one to celebrate its arrival.

Although absent of New York’s Times Square ball drop, the evening has the potential to ignite energy and enthusiasm comparable to that of what Boston calls First Night.

There are many parallels between the eve of a new year and the night before President-elect Barack Obama steps into office for the first time. The most obvious of these parallels are the resolutions we cast in what we hope will be a turning point of expectations. Obama’s team has proposed perhaps the greatest resolution of all: change.

If you are like most people you may have already forgotten the champagne-infused resolutions you vowed to follow through with just last January. Somewhere between the changing seasons, annual celebrations and the daily rhythm of life, these promises get broken or simply lost in the shuffle of higher priorities.

But it would be difficult for Obama to cast aside his resolution of change in this coming year. From the auto industry to desperate investors on Wall Street, the transition of power in the White House has not only triggered hope for a better year but has secured expectations that the new administration will be better than the last.

Democrats and Republicans alike can agree that there is much at stake in issuing such high promises, especially to a national audience.

When the party is over and the inauguration that is expected to attract a record crowd of four million people has finally dispersed, the real challenges begin. The hope that spurs your own personal new year’s resolutions is the similar to the kind responsible for initiating the president’s road map of change. The real test is applying this optimism and hope throughout the year with purpose and intention.

Sounds simple, right? If you are familiar with your own failed resolutions or perhaps remember fictional character Bridget Jones’s annual goal to lose 20lbs, you may identify with the reality of making idealistic goals.

The stakes are undoubtedly high for Obama. The pressure for him to improve upon the previous administration is not the challenge. It’s fulfilling the high expectations already placed on him that will require Obama’s to practice what he preaches.

Whether you celebrated the new year on the first or anticipate its arrival on the 20th, be mindful that many New Year’s resolutions are not achieved in a short period of time. Before casting criticism on Obama’s policies for being all talk and no action, consider the progress of your own personal resolutions. Remember that what you set out to accomplish in 2008 may have even been forgotten as the pages of the calendar turned.

Improving the current state of the nation’s economy is going to take time, possibly more than a four-year presidential term. But the important thing is to remain focused, remain mindful of the resolutions we cast on the eve of Obama’s official arrival into office. Remain mindful of that elusively contagious spirit of optimism that so easily gets forgotten after the celebrations have ended.

As we embark on the new year consider the reality of our ambitions. Remember that change is only good if it is in the right direction, and ‘yes we can’ only sounds convincing when it is followed by ‘yes we did.’

Finally, keep in mind that it’s the attitude with which you approach this new year that will ultimately determine how successful it is. Understand that being idealistic isn’t always implicative of being naive. Being idealistic implies optimism, and there is hardly a better tone to set for a new year and new president’s term in office than being hopeful.

Love, R

p.s. the first letter to a soulmate has made its debut! if you would like to submit your own personal letter or view this week’s letter, please click here: your soulmate, your letter

celebrating change

Dear Soulmate,

Finally the streets of Boston are quiet.  Sunday’s subdued atmosphere has been enhanced by the falling snow that has inconveniently piled itself on the sidewalks outside. I love the way the world silences itself under the weight of snow. But even still, with the world seemingly at bay, there is much to be excited about.

As I neglect to put on my running shoes and jog the snow covered Harbor Walk in my leisurely Sunday routine, I have instead decided to catch up on the inauguration coverage instead.

obama express

And what a spectacular parade of excitement and energy this weekend has been.

But with all the anticipation for Tuesday’s swearing-in ceremony, I can’t help but wonder if all this build up is a good thing or a bad thing.

Remember that first date that you went on, where you picked out the most perfect outfit and spend hours getting agonizing over every detail, only to be disappointed? I have always believed in the statement that it is better to expect nothing and be pleasantly surprised.

I have a hunch that even without this four day celebratory parade that American’s would inevitably be more than pleasantly surprised by the transition of power.

But the more I watch the infectious coverage of the inauguration ceremonies, I realize that it is something much greater than concerts and speeches. It is an opportunity for American’s to come together and reflect upon Obama’s campaign promise of “change” and what that means for them.

And so I ask, what does this change mean for you?

Love, R

p.s. the first featured letter to a soulmate will be unveiled on the page “your soulmate, your letter” on monday. i appreciate all the responses!

your soulmate, your letter

on my way to you

Dear Soulmate,

January is beginning to take its wear on Boston. The sidewalks are coated with patches of unwanted ice and periodically sprinkled with sand and salt that accumulate to form a messy wintry slush. The subway and buses are crowded with tired scarf wrapped faces and newspapers printed with repetitive and discouraging headlines.

The phrase ‘happy new year’ seems as out of context as having a good day. Yes, it is January. And yes, it is the middle of winter. But resolutions aside, it is a hopeful time.

Although the 9 to 5 grind is  inconvenienced by freezing temperatures, and a a commute often riddled by inclement weather, the days are getting longer and a time of change is around the corner.

Winston Churchill once said that change is only good if it’s in the right direction. As I stood shivering in the cold waiting for the train to arrive at the station, I felt as though any change would suffice as an improvement. But it’s easy to feel this way when you are standing alone.

I recently heard a story about a man in his 70′s who had never been married but did in fact still date. While people may cast criticism on a seemingly eccentric serial dater, I saw a much different situation. In many ways I felt sympathetic and heartbroken.

The truth is that life is hard enough. Imagine going through it alone. I would wish that upon no one.

As the train took me through downtown, winding through underground tunnels, I felt that my direction of travel may not have been the one that led me to you- but it at least led me closer.

Every day I am moving toward you. Bit by bit, little by little we are getting closer. And when we finally meet we will both learn that the time we spent apart was worth the wait to find one another.

Love, R

life is good

Dear Soulmate,

If you’re single, embrace it. If you’re in a relationship, embrace that too. The key to both situations is to stay in love. Think of how dull life would be if you woke up with nothing to love, nothing to strive for.

This Monday morning Boston looked tired. Its streets were slicked with ice and a gray overcast that hung over the skyline like a shield hiding any traces of a more beautiful day. But still, the day looked promising and alive.

Imagine how unapproachable and boring the city would be without the kind of energy that love inspires. While today’s lethargic winter weather is most conducive to melancholy, I refuse to fall under its spell.

It’s normal though to go through ups and downs- life is like that. But it’s also really easy to feel lonely, forgotten and unworthy.

If today has found you feeling blue, just remember that things will change. You never know who you will meet, what you will find and you may be surprised to learn that the best is yet to come.

If all else fails, turn the radio up and slide across hardwood floors in your socks. It’s okay to dance like no one’s watching, even when they are.

Love, R

under my umbrella

Dear Soulmate,

Alas, my favorite time of day; when I can sit down at my computer and its just you and me. Although I strongly dislike the impersonality of Facebook, MySpace and other online social networks, I somehow find writing to you on this level exceptionally intimate. I feel so close to you when I write these letters.

As I read the newspaper headlines today I couldn’t help but think that if one man successfully found a way to finally unite the nation across racial lines, then I will one day find a way to you. Anything is possible.

This afternoon I would have loved nothing more than sitting in a cafe with you talking about politics over coffee while watching the rain fall. Perhaps later we could have sat at a cozy bar someplace where the glow of candles reflect off the polished mahogany counter and laughter resonates over relaxing music.

As the days draw shorter and the weather colder, I feel less inclined to pass my time outdoors. On days like today when the wind shakes wet leaves from their trees and sends them to stick to the sidewalks, I feel autumn quickly slipping away, and I am powerless to stop it.

The thought of you walking down the sidewalk with me under an umbrella, laughing and jumping in puddles, instills in me that warmth and beauty of summer that I long for all year long.

And so I watch as the seasons change while I walk alone under my umbrella, wondering where winter will find ourselves.

All my love, R

the view from the city upon a hill

Dear Soulmate,

There has never been a more awe-inspiring, wondrous time to be an American than now. Never before in my lifetime has an election drawn as much coverage, attention and people than last night’s spectacle. Anyone watching or participating will agree that last night was more than politics.

There is something to be said for the crowds that poured into Grant Park in Chicago, something to be said for the people who stood outside the White House, cheering and waving the American flag. Never before in my life has American sentiment been so beautifully displayed.

Last night was much more than politics.

As the American flags adorned the stage behind the newly elected 44th president of the United States, waves of patriotism were reignited when each flag unfolded its stars and stripes once more into the winds of change.

Nothing has given me more pride today than unfolding the newspapers, crossing one of Boston’s busier one way streets, switching subway lines, smiling at the woman behind the counter who handed me my coffee, all while being an American.

I feel like standing upon the hill of my own great city, where the American story all began, and declaring, “Look at me, world, here I am.”

The challenges this country will endure in the next few years are vast, the struggles and the difficulties spread far and wide. I am, however, confident in the nation’s ability to meet these obstacles with civility and honor. I am confident in this country to ease partisanship and promote unity, with the grace and wisdom to know the consequences of these differences.

For me, the meaning of last night’s election exceeding my expectations. For a long time I have held great fascination for John Winthrop’s “A Model of Christian Charity” speech that led me to pry open history books; recreating America’s story through words from all angles; economic, political, cultural, and moral perspectives.

The history of the United States, I realize, is a romantic story. It starts with the dream, a vision, of a land of freedom, liberty and equality. It starts with the people.

It starts with Paul Revere riding into Lexington, Mass. It starts with John Adams advocating independence in Boston courtrooms. It starts with Benjamin Franklin using newspapers as an agent for change in Boston’s financial district. It starts with the people.

I cannot express how meaningful last night was for me to witness the newly elected president restore in me that feeling of true patriotism that I always felt only belonged in history books; to the heroes of American history in the late 18th century.

Last night was so much more than politics. It was about the people and our fearless story of returning to our founding principles that set us apart:

“For we must consider that we shall be as a city upon a hill. The eyes of all people are upon us” – John Winthrop, 1630

Love, R

first time for everything

Dear Soulmate,

Today I learned that a friend of mine may get engaged to this girl he met quite recently, a few months at most. Although he works in Boston and she resides in Rhode Island, he drives down to see her almost every weekend. I cannot help but wonder; will it last?

Those first few weeks with someone new is as close to a fairy tale as the modern world of romance will allow. They are the weeks where you wake up and feel inspired, like the world has everything to offer you and you have nothing to lose. It is a time where every first is incredibly intriguing. That first dinner, that first kiss, that first time brushing your teeth together standing in the doorway of the bathroom, that first drive, that first walk in public where your hands naturally find one another’s. But then what happens when these firsts become seconds, or even thirds?

Naturally, as humans, we get bored. We live in a society of excessive change; phones that quickly morph into computers and mp3s, newspapers that seem to print yesterdays news, and presidential campaigns whose very slogans are “change.” But does love change?

I refuse to believe that it does fade, although I know I am only denying myself from what many people will agree is an obvious truth. In my best defense there have been beautiful love stories that have gone untold in the realm of books and movies. These are the true stories of happily married couples, the ones who die within a few years apart from one another in what people speculate to be from actual heartbreak.

Love does change- it grows, and grows indefinitely. I would like to believe that my friend and his potential fiancee will be an example of this change. Love knows no difference between firsts, seconds and thirds; it treats them all equally- as the first.

I know this because the first time I look at you will be the same way I will look at you every time thereafter, for the rest of my life.

Love, R

fall in love

Dear Soulmate,

There is a distinct difference between needing and wanting. I believe that everything you need to know about me you will learn upon the moment I first look at you. Everything that you want to know, you will learn in time.

Some of these things are simple; I like coffee everyday, I never sleep in late, my hands are always cold and I don’t like french fries. I won’t mind if your idea of romance is allowing me to read the morning paper first, or if you leave your towels on the bathroom floor. I won’t mind if you have other places to be or things to do, just as long as you come home to me at the end of each day.

As the autumn daylight falls against the roofs of townhouses, oppressive in its slanting rays, the unforgotten cold begins to seep in through the windows that I once left open. I miss the warmth and light that summer promised, and if the leaves yearn for this season, it is impossible to tell. I watch as they change color, as they always do. I, too, feel the change. Perhaps something beautiful is yet to come.

Perhaps something as beautiful as counting falling leaves. And so I will wait, for you, where the leaves fall.

Love, R