in love with love

Dear Soulmate,

These letters to you have attracted such intrigue and have generated such great questions that I feel it is necessary to give attention to where it is due. Some comments I have received have been regarding the tone of the letters; more specifically if the blog is optimistic or the latter.

Let me perhaps address the intention for writing to you and then the pieces may fall into place and paint a better picture of my personal beliefs on love.

First, I want to tell you a story. This is a story that does not begin with once upon a time, but from a once little girl who grew up believing that all stories began that way, even tragedies, it is certainly possible.

I am fortunate to have grown up with a beautiful family and wonderful friends. I am truly grateful for how my story has been written thus far and there is not a page I would regret as I have learned so much from both the ups and downs.

I fell in love once. It was a beautiful two year on and off rollercoaster of emotions- the kind of rollercoaster that makes you want to hold your breath at the high parts to savor the moment, and make you want to scream on the way down. I suppose all rollercoasters do just that.

But dating and people’s reaction to love in my generation is fundamentally different than in previous times. The hook-up culture, which I just wrote a magazine enterprise article about, is what dominates the landscape of modern dating. I did not need to research the topic further to learn that acts of love that used to be considered romantic have now been replaced with labels like ”creepy” or “stage five clinger.”

I think back to my parents relationship where my mom transferred colleges to be in the same town with my dad after only a month or so of dating. Today it is not uncommon to find that even talking about pursuing a relationship with someone who you have been intimately involved with for a short period of time, may seem too forward or clingy. Of course there are always exceptions, though.

But consider for a moment if someone built you the house of your dreams. Would you think it was romantic or a stalker-like act of desperation?

I am sure that in Nicholas Sparks’ “The Notebook,” a story set in the 1950s, you may have considered that romantic.

My point, soulmate, is that my experience with love in my generation have made it difficult for me to believe in that “old fashioned” love. It’s not that modern love is any less great than the love of yesterday, but being the nostalgic romantic that I am, I keep coming back to wondering how relationships will evolve with the times. I sometimes feel like an outsider as I wait for someone to approach me and introduce himself in person. While many of my friends would consider that to be creepy, I think it is flattering and endearing. It is real.

In keeping with the times though I decided to create this blog with the intention of sharing with people my thoughts: how I see the world. Understand that it is not through rose colored glasses but through the lenses of a curious girl who is deeply fascinated by love.

At the end of the day, love is love. I agree with many readers that there is certainly more than one person who you may be compatable with. I would be a hypocrite if I said there is only one soulmate per person as I was very much taken by my first love, as most people are.

I am looking for the next great chapter, the next great love.

This blog is essentially the product of love- how it inspires you, lifts you up, takes you to unexpected places. While there are days you want to curse the ones who have let you down, who made you feel undeserving of love, you keep coming back to it. Love is something that I would argue is seemingly impossible to ignore.

It’s difficult. It challenges you. It changes you. But if this blog has in any way inspired you to believe in it more, then I have succeeded. Just remember though that love is a rollercoaster, as is life.

But it finds you. And if you’re really lucky, it may leave you wondering how you ever lived without it.

All my love, R